6/19/11

She was just looking for him, for so long and she couldn't find him because he just wasn't there. He wasn't there and she wanted for him to be there so much and he didn't care because he had moved on. She had moved on as well but she didn't really mind seeing him whenever he was available because she loved him deeply, something he couldn't see. He was immersed in the fake life he wanted to live, the life he had chosen and that might look satisfying but never had been and could never have been.

She left her, for so many years and she still loved him, how could it be? Such love, that lasted for so long couldn't be real. Not a love story, not any kind of story has ever portrayed such kind of love in ages but she longed for him to be by her side and she didn't mind for him to be so far away since, he had always been that far: geographically and emotionally.

One day, a summer morning, he called her. She was ecstatic and she was wondering why he was here for. He told her he was there because of his heart and that he had a doctor's appointment. She hoped it was nothing serious and he assured her, it wasn't.

He called her and asked her if she could meet him for lunch, she did not hesitated and immediately said yes. They had lunch and she felt so happy about being sad about the past he had shortened. She said that she wanted to see him whenever he was free from his tiresome life and she asked if she could call him from time to time. He said she'd call her and that if he hadn't called her within the next fifteen days, that she should call her. She knew what that was about: "He might forget" she thought and that's okay, I know he will, like he always had.
From the archives...

He started toying around with the little plastic dolphin she had on her bag and he looked like a little kid, she said: "This is the only kind of Dolphin I will ever have". He started laughing and he wondered if she had always been like that. "That, you will never know" she thought.

They said their goodbyes and she went back to the life she had chosen for herself. Might not be so proud of it but she'll still have those summer nights in the cafe knowing that he man that was with her knew nothing about her and that comforted her in a way that surprised her so much she was barely breathing.

I asked her: "Mum, what is his name? I've never asked, because I was too scared." She kindly said: "There's nothing to be afraid of.  He's just a man from my past that will never be in my future. His name is Victoriano Delfín." 

As I sat there, listening to what she was saying, I wondered who that man was and how important he was for her, little did I know is that she wanted for him to be the most important man in her life but he just didn't wanted to be and that she had loved him for a very long time but he was too scared of that love, he just couldn't bear it. 


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